As we contemplate the horrors that lie below the precipice, we ought to fortify ourselves with the timeless wisdom of Captain Long John Silver: Them that dies will be the lucky ones! In my humble estimation, succumbing to this virus is probably going to be your gentlest way out. The survivors will meet a much more gruesome fate in the cannibal free-for-all that’s probably only weeks away, at best. Ever seen the human sacrifice scene from Apocalypto? That’s going to be the reward bestowed upon you by a good immune system.
Pondering your own demise isn’t a healthy endeavor, but a global pandemic induces quite a bit of pondering. When all hope is gone, speculation is what’s left behind. And when it comes to paranoia, all payments are down payments, so be very careful when making that purchase. I’m a man imbued with fathomless pessimism, so I bought the deluxe package many years ago.
What I find principally intriguing about this crisis is how it brings the complexity of our modern lives to the forefront, whereas usually we never give it any thought because it’s just too much to think about. This morning, I had to get my temperature checked with something that looked like a gun from Star Trek, then had my hands sprayed with some sort of substance. When I finally got into my office, I had an apple for breakfast.
The whole day, I couldn’t stop thinking about how impossible it was to visualize how this apple was produced for my consumption. Even the farmer who grew the apple or the Mexican rapist who picked it wouldn’t be able to do so either. The entire supply chain is so complex, nobody would be able to map it out.
Oil fracked out of the ground in Texas then blended with heavier stuff from somewhere else, phosphorus mined in Morocco and refined in Louisiana, equipment with components manufactured all over the world then assembled in Iowa, irrigation provided by wells using electricity from a nuclear plant powered by Russian uranium – these are the broad strokes. Branch out from there and all you’ll get is a headache.
By contrast, if I was in living back in 1120, I’d have zero questions about how I came into possession of that apple. It was grown on a tree outside of my village planted by an ancestor buried nearby, and then I picked it. If I was going to starve to death, that would be readily apparent by the lack of apples growing on the trees. All very clear and simple.
Complexity is the bane of prediction and we exist in an incredibly complex environment. As an emotional coping strategy, I always assume the worst. This way, I’m never disappointed. I really don’t want to die in a cannibal apocalypse, which is why I immediately assumed I will perish in a cannibal apocalypse when Covid-19 splashed across the news.
In all honesty, the internal monologue I find most disquieting is: Do I deserve it? I’ve done a lot of drinking and womanizing, but I volunteered at my church soup kitchen when I was in high school. I take a dim view towards most of humanity, but I practice good citizenship. I always return my cart to the proper location at Wal-Mart, and my elderly neighbors get their walks shoveled free of charge.
Speaking of charges, I’ve never even been charged with a felony. Not even a parking ticket. I could make a strong case that I’m one of the good people. However, I seriously doubt the Good Lord cares about whatever legal bullshit anyone tries to spew.
I wish I could be like the Templar from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, “My soul is prepared, how’s yours?!”, but pessimism is neither an ideology nor a confidence-building exercise. There must have been a few decent people in Sodom & Gomorrah, just like me. On balance, I’m pretty sure we’re way worse than them. Is the cleansing fire a virus? We’re gonna find out.
I’m proud to officially announce my candidacy for the office of Dogcatcher.
It’s a brand new world.
Today was unreal, we went to four different grocery stores only to find the entire meat section…..barren, the bread…….gone, the milk…..absent, the canned good….selective. So normally we shop at one store for 30 minutes for food that will last a week. This time it took us most of the day, multiple stores and amungst hordes of others absent from work only to find the same amount of food. I’m older than most and today was something I’ve never seen….
My son sent me pictures of eviscerated aisles at a Walmart in Eastern Oklahoma yesterday. He asked whether the grocery stores where I live had suffered the same or a similar fate? I replied that they hadn’t to my knowledge, but that I expected them to in very short order. My wife told me yesterday evening that the stores where we grocery shop are expecting to get wiped out within the next few days and that management is concerned that they won’t be able to re-stock due to the sudden increase in demand and limited supplies to fill them.
I have long believed something like this would happen during my lifetime, and here we seem to have arrived at that moment. I always thought that the efficient cause would be an economic collapse, however, not a mutant strain of the flu originating in China, of all places. It isn’t all that surprising, though. We live in such an unstable society that it is truly amazing nothing like this has happened in our lifetimes before. The whole thing with hordeing supplies and food stuffs is a vicious cycle. Even the brave and stalwart and the self-sufficient among us are going to begin making their own mad dashes to the stores to buy up everything they can get their hands on in (belated) anticipation that if they don’t there won’t be anything left to purchase. Nuts!