The Wonderful Wizard of the Deal

In The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, written by L. Frank Baum, a disheartened little girl from Kansas is wistfully taken to the utopian world she has always dreamt of. Unexpectedly, a catastrophic whirlwind hurls her into a land of delightful people, magically enchanted fellow travelers, horrible and beautiful witches, all in brilliant technicolor. But once there, all she ever wants is to return to her mundane, black-and-white way of life, back to normalcy, back to “home sweet home.” And there is only one person who can get her back, a very powerful and wonderful wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!

But, there’s a catch. There’s always a catch.

After gaining great fame in Oz by crushing a wicked witch under her deplorable, old home, she and her hopeful friends press forward, happily singing and dancing along a yellow brick road. Along the way, they survive many attacks by evil forces, making it all the way to the Emerald City, where the great and powerful Oz rules in benevolence. With great expectation, the wizard will grant her humble wish, she enters the great hall. And though she pleads her case, the Oz requires more. For though he is powerful, he still lacks the one token that will make the little girl’s dream come true. He needs just a little more, and with great drama and self-aggrandizing flare, he asks Dorothy to slay another wicked witch, and bring evidence the nasty deed has
been done.

Every election cycle, Southerners are asked to give a little bit more, vote a little harder, vote for the right candidate, the one that will make America great again, or some other nonsense. In 2016, there was great hope, as the Wizard of the Deal, Donald J. Trump, descended down the golden promise escalator in Manhattan, New York. He astonished the citizens of Oz with all his magnificent and magical words. And through happenstance, he arrived in the Emerald City victorious in his magical hot air balloon.

All of Oz was astounded! There was shouting for joy alongside weeping and gnashing of teeth. Those that greeted his arrival with joy soon found the previous regime was not going to let him rule in peace. Those that still wanted the wicked witch to rule immediately began to undermine the not-so-powerful Oz. Instead of giving those that loved him what they wanted, he wasted his time trying to gain the affection of those that despised him. In the end, his rule was filled with fire balls of flash and loud speeches. It turned out, he was not a wonderful wizard, but just another politician hiding behind the curtain of empty promises.

Brothers and sisters, we have followed that yellow brick road; we have done all that the wizards of the American Empire have asked us to do… and still it is not enough. Just as Dorothy learned after all the hardships she and her fellow travelers faced, there is no place like home, and no wizard, no matter how great and powerful, can get you what you desire most. The brains, the heart, and the courage have always been within you. Our return to a wholesome and familial South is only a click of the heels away, if you’re willing to believe.

Deo Vindice!

God save the South!