Customary Part and Parcel

A heroic Pole armed only with a narwhal tusk and grim determination engages in mortal combat against a hated-fueled Jihadist on a killing spree against the native population. If it weren’t for the macabre absurdity of the entire situation one wouldn’t have a single clue from this sentence that it describes an event that transpired in London.

If you could travel back in time and query a Londoner from 1939 about when this confrontation happened, he probably would’ve replied that it was during the Polish cavalry charge that broke the 2^nd Turkish siege of Vienna in 1683. If you then informed him that this was the future awaiting his grandchildren, he’d become adamant that Poland should just hand over Danzig to that painter from Vienna.

The future starts looking even darker when you notice that this jihadi shares the same name as the Mayor of London, who is also from Pakistan and insists that “terrorism is part and parcel of life in a big city.” Maybe they’re related. I also wonder if London’s mayor has gotten tired of visiting London Bridge after gruesome slaughter, it’s become routine at this point.

In any case, stabbings have hit a record high in London this year, a city where police don’t bother to arrest shoplifters as matter of official policy, and refuse to respond to burglaries unless they’re currently in progress.

The most gruesome technique for executing this procedure is euphemistically referred to by its vibrant denizens (Brits are a shrinking minority) as “bagging.” During this attack, the assailant will plunge his knife into the victim’s backside with the desired result being a person who will need to wear a colostomy bag for life. Every fresh package of feces bolsters the GDP, but still one questions the wisdom of importing these folks.

There’s a pretty big dose of Confirmation Bias to be derived from this massacre, though. One of the victims was a bleeding heart anti-racist dedicated to getting brown people out of prison and back onto the streets. That’s precisely what happened to the jihadist who should never have been set free for his role in attempting blow up the London Stock Exchange. This Bridiot thought he was on the right side of history and wound up on the wrong end of a knife.

If you’re aiding and abetting the demolition of your country, my sympathy isn’t forthcoming when irony strikes. He’d probably condemn me as an evil extremist who should be locked up in the Tower of London. This is something that happens in England to young mothers who misgender trannies on Twitter, so my final trip across the pond happened years ago. Only the good Lord knows what Her Majesties’ justice system would do to me. I’d feel infinitely safer visiting Pyongyang.