Modernity’s Sociopaths

When I was in first grade, we had a class betta fish named Rover. A beautiful red and silver thing, Rover would swim happily in his spacious tank while we learned how to do cursive and memorize sums. Rover harmed no one and for most kids in the class, he was a passing wonder or a fleeting afterthought. The fish demanded nothing from anyone and we all had our separate lives.  

Like society though, every classroom has a sociopath. For the sake of anonymity, I’ll call ours “Collin.” Collin somehow found out that betta fish become aggressive when they see another male betta. They puff up, flaunt their beautiful colors, and dash toward their opponent. He also discovered that these conditions could be replicated by showing a betta fish their reflection. After all, fish aren’t cognizant to tell the difference between other fish and their own reflections in a mirror. 

So one day Collin brought his mother’s compact mirror to class. He laughed with mirthful glee as over and over he showed Rover his reflection, watching the fish puff up like some aquatic peacock and attempting to attack the phantom in the mirror. He encouraged other children to join in the fun and when scolded by our teacher that this could become too taxing for Rover, he nonetheless persisted when he wasn’t under her eye. 

One day we had a substitute and Collin started his antics back up. The next day, Rover was found belly up in his tank. To this day, I am unsure whether or not Collin’s torture of Rover had anything to do with his demise. However, I will never forget the look on my teacher’s face as she scooped Rover’s mortal coil out of the tank with a small net, looking at Collin as if to say, “Screw you, you little asshole.” I think I’ll allow you to be the judge. 

In any pre-modern society, Collin would have been ostracized, or more extreme, set out on an ice floe so that his sociopathic genes would never be able to pollute the community. However, in the modern world, sociopathy is rewarded, and often encouraged. No doubt Little Collin is now a member of a c-suite for a Fortune 500 company or even partner at a high dollar law firm.  

For the sociopath, life is a constant party and a figure of fun. The illusion of grandeur is even more intense when said sociopath is an atheist (called “freethinker” or “skeptic” in today’s parlance). 

Enter Oh No, Ross and Carrie!, a podcast hosted by Maximumfun.org. According to their website, ONRC is a podcast, “…where we don’t just report on fringe science, spirituality, and the claims of the paranormal, but take part ourselves. Follow us as we join religions, undergo alternative treatments, seek out the paranormal, and always find the humor in life’s biggest mysteries. We show up – so you don’t have to.”  The show’s hosts are two “freethinkers” – Ross Blocher and Carrie Poppy. Ross is your typical soyboy with a shit-eating grin and Carrie looks like she’s a washed up librarian catlady in utero. She had a few TED Talks where she’s showed off her frumpy self with such riveting subjects as “A Scientific Approach to the Paranormal.” They both live in Los Angeles, California, so you can gather what pieces of wretched humanity these two individuals are. 

“Investigative journalists” and “former evangelicals” who started reading “science books” and found out that they were just too cool for religion, Ross and Carrie go around converting to various religions and then make a podcast show about their experience. They’ve converted to Raelism, Scientology, Latter-Day Saints, Eckenar, Ordo Templi Orientis, and other various beliefs. A lot of their podcast talks about the process of conversion but the majority of their content is based on poking fun at the people in these faiths as well as their “absurd beliefs.” In fact, they will even rate religions at their end of their show on criteria like “creepiness,” “absurdity,” and “wallet-draining factor.” (“Ross, on a scale of one to ten, one being we came from goat semen, and ten being the Theory of Evolution, how would you rate this faith’s logic?”). 

Now, I think Scientologists are full of more shit than a Christmas turkey. The Ordo Templi Orientis is full of wannabe magicians who want to practice sexual debauchery. And while I don’t believe in the Book of Mormon, I have many LDS friends and I find them to be wholesome people who generally want to be left alone. The issue I have with this podcast is that these two hosts are clearly sociopathic, pretending to be other people when they really aren’t, and defrauding others in order to produce content for their podcast to make a buck. In a sane world, Ross Bolcher and Carrie Poppy would just go about their lives and the people of these spiritual groups would go about their lives, and the twain would never meet. But not so in our Clown World! 

Their podcast on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints had me seething. I’m talking white knuckled, fist clenched mad. And I’m not even a Mormon! It angered me because they wasted the time of two missionaries, young and very impressionable men, who clearly began to care for Ross and Carrie (or the characters that they portrayed). These missionaries offered to paint their houses, run errands, walk their dogs, and perform numerous chores to connect with these two. They strung these kids along for a ride, making them a figure of fun the entire way. And then Carrie and Ross had the audacity to seem sad as well when they revealed to their missionaries (after their baptism in fact) their ruse. I can’t imagine how soul crushing that felt to those two missionaries, especially considering that most LDS missionaries pay the Church to go on a mission.

They defrauded scores of people who began to take an interest in them at the local LDS ward they visited, including volunteers who showed up at their baptism and confirmation to celebrate their entry into that community. Regardless of how you feel about the LDS, the baptism and confirmation of the LDS church requires you to take oaths that you will abide by certain rules and commandments. Of course, these commandments are just foolishness for Ross and Carrie (she rants quite a bit about the banality of Mormons banning ‘hot drinks’ and makes fun of the oath of chastity). However, they lied under oath. They swore falsely. What kind of people not only waste their time as well as other people’s time, but bear false testimony and oaths? Clearly, it shows they don’t have much respect for others. It is also apparent they don’t have respect for themselves.

For atheists like Ross Bolcher and Carrie Poppy, people of faith just aren’t people. They aren’t intelligent enough to be “freethinking.” They are no-people that they study like Jane Goodall examines chimpanzees or great apes. Your feelings mean nothing to them. In fact, your feelings are the subject of scrutiny and even ridicule. All people of faith are toys to be exploited. Fraud and oath breaking are just games. Besides, you are just keeping society from becoming the transgendered buggering space-faring Star Trek utopia with your Bibles and your baptisms. 

You’re just a betta fish to them. And if you get hurt, well, screw you. 

To quote my old classmate Collin, “Why aren’t you laughing? Can’t you tell this is funny?”

-By Soco