Every time I go back to the hometown I grew up in, it’s a concentrated dose of disappointment. Pardon me a bit of pathos while we ponder the state of the world and our lives.
I’m sure most of us remember fonder days where the cares of the world didn’t permeate life and we enjoyed the simple experiences of catching fireflies on a hot summer night and looking at clouds while laying on the family lawn. Life was good, and if it wasn’t good, it wasn’t desperate. The smallest things could brighten your day in childhood and the world seemed full of magic and wonder.
The attempt to re-live these memories brings a little bit of joy, but ultimately a lot of melancholy, especially for people like me. The comfort of home isn’t able to stand up to the discomfort of the reality around us, and the wolves have truly come to our doors. I think what most of us long for is not necessarily the trappings of the familiar setting, but to go back to a time when the world felt right.
Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, and the worst thing about it is that it leaves you unsatisfied at the end of the day. You can’t turn back time. You can try to relive what was, but those days are never coming back. When the realization hits, it tends to suck the fun out of things and leave you yearning for the next nostalgia-ridden experience. It’s tough to lose yourself in the innocence of your youth when the next town over is hosting drag queen story hour at their library.
The reality is that Clown World is here to stay, and the fond memories of riding your bike to the old ice cream parlor or the neighborhood cookout with neighbors you knew and liked rest beyond your ability to recreate. The brick is jammed on the gas pedal, and all of the passengers are bracing for impact with Piss-Earth. Hard to enjoy the fleeting memories of good times past with that hanging over your head.
You’ve read it here a lot, but it’s still the truth. There’s no cavalry coming. You are the cavalry. You can’t go back to the better days of your youth, but you can dig in, work with the brave men and women around you and focus on building a future worth living in.
