Fantasy Politics

Most readers are at least familiar with the concept of fantasy football. A person will choose athletes from different teams on different positions. The quarterback they pick might be from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and their wide receiver from the Broncos. The individual performance of the athlete in question is used to calculate their points value. Groups of people will have a fantasy league in which their fantasy rosters will be compared to other players. An athlete may lose a game while still providing several fantasy points. Of course, the actual athletes couldn’t care less who’s fantasy team they are on and it no way affects the actual football game.

This is very similar to how voting works in current year America. Voters will select a fantasy roster on their ballot and turn it in. Like the fantasy sports participants, they hope their individual selectees do well enough to win, but on some level realize they have no say in the outcome of the event. One need only look at the laughably fraudulent results of the 2020 “election” to see the truth of this. For more concrete evidence, the reports from Maricopa County, Arizona prove this beyond a doubt.

The Old Dominion’s fantasy politics league plays out in November. Virginia’s current nincompoop of a governor, Ralphie “Coonman” Northam, cannot be on the ballot due to “term limits.” His three would-be successors are a man who hates White people and has a long history of working against their interests, a gay black woman who hates Whites, and an unserious man who thinks criminal violence is because of racism.

Terry McAuliffe, the guy with the Democrat jersey on, was a Clinton money launderer and stooge during Bill’s regime as president. He was then head of the DNC from 2001-2005, worked on Hillary Clinton’s 2008 campaign, and was governor of Virginia from 2014-2018. In between his political appointments and campaign finance law violation, he gave overpriced speeches at the kinds of universities that have billion dollar endowments and still charge six figure tuitions to keep the peasants out.

Given that Terry is a Clinton aparatchik running for the place with Northern Virginia in it, his victory can be almost guaranteed. He promises the standard boiler plate nonsense about affordable housing, everyone who isn’t a White man getting their rights protected, and “Lifting up Every Black Virginian.” The only people stupid enough to think this and all the talk of equity means anything other than “excluding Whites from as many things as possible” are the housewives of federal employees in Fairfax County.

The lone woman on the ballot is named (no, I’m not making this up) Princess Blanding. She is not royalty of any sort, her actual first name is Princess. At 50 years old, it is safe to assume she has not changed her name because she likes being called Princess. Her qualifications are typical for a melanin enhanced LGBTetc person of uterus. That is to say, none. Besides getting a Master’s Degree in “Education Leadership,” she was a primary school teacher for 13 years or so. For those who don’t know, “educational leadership” is a fake degree that is a certificate for liking to hear yourself lecture teachers without actually knowing anything or being able to learn enough to get a higher level degree than the one you already shouldn’t have.

Her claim to fame is that her brother “had a mental health episode” and was running around the streets naked. The unfortunate cops who had to deal with him found their tasers ineffective and escalated force when the crazy naked guy continued to attack them. Her platform consists of what you would expect a faux-educated black woman’s platform to consist of: Covid panicked germophobbia, the word “justice” about 80 times where it doesn’t belong, and, because she’s gay, she advocates for her fellow homosexuals and mentally ill men in dresses. Toss in a bunch of explicitly race based handouts for non-White people, and there you have it. A fairly dim woman who’s career peaked at teaching middle school wants to be governor to get revenge for her brother not being allowed to run around killing people.

The third selectee for the fantasy politics roster is Glenn Youngkin. In professinal wrestling parlance, he is the heel, destined to lose. His campaign website is the only one without a policy page. Instead, he has some vague bullet points about jobs and some violence outreach programs with the word “unity” in the name. Of course, these programs always fail, and never do anything but enrich the race huslters among Princess’s ethnic group. His most recent campaign ad shows him walking arm in arm with some black people, mewling about how racism is the cause of an increase in violence in Virginia. Beyond this absurdly fictional and pointless pandering to a group that won’t vote for him, he has made some similarly idiotic statements about running because of Trump. We are supposed to infer, based on the elephant logo on his jersey, that he means this in a lauditory way. His worship of the provably false narrative of White on black interracial crime would lead one to believe he fawns over blacks much like his mentor does.

The lieutenant governor position is, somehow, actually filled with worse options. The donkey jersey is worn by a woman who is one of the most vapid and clueless human beings alive. I am convinced a goldfish would beat her in a battle of wits. The Republican nominee is, unsurprisingly, a black woman. The obvious pointlessness of this maneuver is lost on the tittering party “leaders” and normiecons who will bloviate about how this owns the libs and Democrats are the real racists. This true Virginian was born in Jamaica, raised in New York City, and her entire political career consists of two years as a State delegate and two failed election campaigns. I don’t know which would actually be the worse pick.

The only bright spot on the roster is the loser of the attorney general contest. The Republican has some milquetoast, albeit on the right track positions on things like crime (IE not letting criminals out of jail early) and fighting illegal immigration. His site claims to support election reform, fighting illegal immigration, and protecting the elerly from fraud. These seem like the kinds of things an attorney general should be doing, which guarantees his defeat in November by the geriatric White guy who wants to restrict the right of law abiding Virginians to protect themselves, reduce punishments for violent crime, and wants to protect “women’s reproductive rights.” Any man who supports the freewheeling murder of the unborn should be immediately suspected of adultery or grooming underaged girls. This is not an accusation against the candidate, but the only reason a man wants to make sure women can get abortions is because he thinks he will need to have a baby murdered by a victim or a mistress.

Most people reading this site know that our current political system is a sham and, in an actual fantasy politics league, could predict the winners with great accuracy. The downside to playing this fantasy league well is that if you win, you lose. Fantasy sports are video games for people who can’t play video games. Fantasy politics are video games for people who think their vote matters. In either case, it is best to detach yourself from it and gently pry the people you care about away from them as well.