Davids vs Goliaths

Anyone new to the dissident sphere of politics can look around and see an abundance of jaded people. While many become jaded for individual and particular reasons, woken up by an experience somewhere along the line, no one can deny that for many, the jimmies were rustled when puberty stopped short. Chances are, even you are a manlet. 

The manlet vs lanklet struggle is as old as time, pitting the Alpha Chad hunter-gatherer against the soyboy agrarian berrypicker. Otzi, the 5’3″ iceman discovered in the Alps, was obviously banished there to live out his short years in solitude by some Chadmo Sapien who probably stole his girlfriend. Played out thousands of times and across thousands of years, the struggle of small men against large men has only recently been equalized on the battlefield with modern weapons. Now, one-man siege engines of war can be struck down with a single, well-placed shot (blubber sometimes still protecting). The struggle now continues off the field of battle and into the dating market, where short men are often pained to see Stacey pass them over for a few extra inches. This eternal and unending battle between the talls and the shorts has instilled into the manlet-class a predisposition for gazing angrily at whatever is out of his reach. Naturally, the political sphere is not separate from this.

For those of you not as well versed in internet lingo, the manlet is identified by a height somewhere in the 5 feet range. The term’s genesis probably originated from gymbro lanklets, men 6 feet or taller, to strengthen their egos when compared to their usually more muscled, albeit shorter, gym peers. Anyone who has spent time in a gym has probably witnessed the dichotomy themselves. Specifically, the overabundance of manlets, and even TURBO manlets (a rare breed), with more impressive physiques than their lanklet counterparts. This disparity is usually explainable by the shorter muscle length and ability to consume less calories to support muscular growth, the tall ones call it compensation for shorter frames.

Manlets are often louder and more outspoken than their lanklet adversaries. Stemming from their time in the Shire, their public speaking voice probably evolved from a need to be heard in underground burrows where they congregate to lay their eggs. Often reported across many internet forums, the manlet, despite his natural gift of muscular physique, is often angry at God, his boss, his father, and the world. This manlet animus is based off their terminal manletism, the poor wretches that they are. As such, the eternal manlet believes the world owes him something. The archetypical manlet is angry at the world and, if given the chance, he will remake it in his own dainty image, as well as, make all those who hurt him suffer for the pain he bore. 

The manlet is, at his base, the ideal candidate for dissident politics. Angry at the “natural” order that so many others feel comfortable in and the false dichotomy between left and right-wing politics, it is they who stand back and screech, “You’re not God or my father or my boss!” The Napoleon syndrome trope similarly evolved from the “stereotype” that small men are angrier, and sometimes megalomaniacal in their goals. Stepping outside the normie dominance hierarchy to join a new one is something that is more easily done when you’re already convinced the world needs changing. Infamous TRS dissidents like Enoch, Stryker, and McNabb are manlets themselves, doubly cursed with two of them being Yankees. The third being a spiritual Yankee (and a notorious Trekkie). Richard Spencer, while being physically a mustachioed (?) lanklet, is actually a spiritual manlet. This was revealed in how he reacted to the happenings of Charlottesville, where his evil Bond villain plans were stopped by those who held power (just beyond his manicured reach).

Why aren’t more lanklets present in dissident circles? It would seem that the contentedness that is paired with a life born of ease doesn’t breed the questioning mentality that comes with being short. It takes a special “tism” catalyst to cause the transformation from normie to dissident for biggers, as opposed to the natural progression from manletism. When the dominance hierarchy doesn’t automatically situate you at the very bottom, sometimes the weight above isn’t enough for you to want to unshackle yourself. Normie lanklets, like Trump himself, are usually somewhat content with the status quo and aren’t prone to sweating the small stuff.

The righteous fury of the manlet is something that can be channeled as a force for good in our circles. But, it must be focused. Wild and outlandish bickering to undermine their taller counterparts is rampant, but expected from such creatures. And, it is up to each of us to try to be the bigger and better man. 

The Editors: this is clearly satire, you filthy manlets.