As COVID-19 continues to spread through the country like herpes in a coed dorm, there have been talks of mass quarantine. While many people deem it necessary to stop the spread of the virus, and others just want a 2 week vacation from their underpaying job, I can’t help but wonder what the average Weimerican would do with their newly found free time while remaining indoors.
I imagine their time spent in quarantine would be no different from their average lives; wake up, smoke weed, scroll through social media, browse Pornhub, play video games, smoke weed, eat pizza rolls, watch Netflix, smoke weed, and eat more frozen food. The only thing missing will be their daily commute and soul-sucking job, if they even have one, that led them to such a depraved lifestyle to begin with. In fact, I don’t see how social distancing will help at all when it’s already the Weimerican standard.
The daily Weimerican routine even makes me question if it’s healthier just to contract COVID-19. Mild flu-like symptoms sound like a healthier alternative to the multiple issues that arise from a poor diet, daily drug use, and an increased intake of pornographic content. At least a bout of illness will stave off their impending carpal tunnel for a few more days.
Being from a state with residents that host parties during natural disasters, I can’t imagine the mindset during a pandemic will change much. The average person will use this time to have fun and further indulge in their already formed bad habits. In all seriousness, if given time away from work, use it in a productive manner. This would be prime time to hone your skills, whatever they may be, or catch up on things around the house. Don’t waste your time perusing the internet and vegetating in front of the TV.
Crawling out of the Everglades and guzzling a Monster energy drink.
I am expecting the Feds to decriminalize weed and start sending it out to everyone for free to keep people from rioting.
Don’t forget to keep in touch with family members, given the opportunity.
This time can be used for an opportunity to indulge in self improvement or to improve one’s personal situation.Plant a garden or expand an existing one.Work out for better health both physically and mentally.Practice skills that deteriorate when not exercised.If you don’t have a range available to you,dry-fire has been shown to help shooting skills.Write a letter to a friend or loved one,an art rapidly fading from existence.Offer help to the elderly or disabled.
If we’ve been given time let’s use it to our advantage,rather than engage in mental or physical masturbation.As the leftists say, “Never let a crisis go to waste”.
Tic-tok,tic-toc.