Ah, yes, fall is here. With the clear blue skies and the crisp nip in the air, I can hardly believe I was almost dead of heatstroke a few weeks ago. Anyway, it’s here now, so I won’t complain. Fall is one of my favorite times of the year for many reasons: the cooler weather, SEC football, all kinds of good hunting and, finally, Thanksgiving!
That’s right, good ‘ole Thanksgiving – everyone’s favorite holiday to spend time with family and descend into culturally-approved gluttony. I bet you’re thinking about it right now. That big bird in the middle of the table, surrounded by an entourage of carb laden sides, just waiting to be consumed by a hungry family. Most normal families look forward to this holiday, and the labors of love that come with it.
I look forward to the cooking myself, though I’d never admit it. We fire up that turkey fryer and season up that bird with enough herbs and spices to spike your blood pressure dangerously high, then drop her in the peanut oil. Once its in the grease, we crack open a cold one or pass around the Wild Turkey. This labor of love becomes an event every year; neighbors and family stop by to gather around the heat of the fryer and enjoy each other’s company. I make those half-hearted complaints, “I’m not doing this mess anymore” or “someone else is frying this bird next year.” All the while, I know full well I’ll be cooking in perpetuity. I know deep down that I would feel awful if I didn’t have my Thanksgiving ritual.
As traditions slowly, but surely, go the way of the dodo, families are abandoning their rituals. They repeat the same tired excuses for their Thanksgiving apostacy. They’ll claim, “It’s so much easier this way! Granny and Papa agree! That way no one has to worry about cooking!” The next thing you know, Granny and Papa are sitting in a disgustingly crowded Cracker Barrel, sipping gross sweet tea and eating lukewarm food cooked by immigrants of questionable legal status. The turkey is dry and the collards are under seasoned. There’s no giblet gravy or ambrosia salad to be found.
You’ll see the heartbreaking looks on Granny and Papa’s face, as they sit down to a “Thanksgiving” meal that was not cooked with love. They try to force a smile, but deep down they know the traditions and values they raised their children with probably won’t last another generation. “Sure, we all went to Cracker Barrel this time, but who says we’ll get together at all next year?” they think as they try to beat the annoying puzzle game that sits next to the salt and pepper shakers. It’s a depressing reality and is a symptom of the further erosion of the traditional family.
I understand that people are busy, I understand that some of us work on Thanksgiving, or simply cannot make it happen. However, if you have every opportunity to spend the holidays with your family and you don’t, out of some selfish reasons, you are part of the problem. If you actively try to systematically undermine your family’s traditions with restaurants or store-bought meals, you are part of the problem. If you routinely counter-signal Thanksgiving, other family holidays, you are part of the problem.
Parents and grandparents don’t last forever, my friends. Every holiday is one holiday closer to their last. Spend that time with them, cook for them. Cook with them and listen to what they have to say. Spend all the time you can with your family, while you have them. When they finally leave this world, honor them by continuing the tradition. Be the person they raised and carry on their legacy.
Traditions aren’t kept alive in big auditoriums or parade grounds. They are kept alive by labors of love in our own homes, small sacrifices and inconveniences we make to keep traditions alive. Your time and effort are two of the most beautiful gifts you can give your family. When you put forth the effort to carry the torch for another generation, your ancestors look down with pride. So, this Thanksgiving, roll up those sleeves and make it happen. Fry that turkey and make that dressing. Get the kids table ready and call your in-laws – because we can’t let the flame die out. We will not go quietly into Cracker Barrel!
-By Dixie Anon
O I’m a good old rebel, now that’s just what I am. For this “fair land of freedom” I do not care at all. I’m glad I fit against it, I only wish we’d won, And I don’t want no pardon for anything I done.
Yep Agree 100%. I also don’t like how many boomers just want to do everything so informal. Many just use paper plates instead of actual plates. And some don’t even sit at the table, but instead sit around the tv and watch the game. Whatever is easiest and most comfortable. No tradition or ritual.
Amen. As my younger brother once said, “anyone who believes family and tradition are unimportant is an idiot.”