Nostalgic for Last Blood

Generally speaking, yours truly despises Hollywood. Nothing of value would be lost if our very own “New Sodom and Gomorra” were destroyed by an earthquake. But I’m a child of the 80s, and I couldn’t resist dropping a few bucks to go see the last installment of Rambo: Last Blood.

For those unfamiliar with the Rambo movie series, it follows the tortured life of protagonist John Rambo, played by Sylvester Stallone. Rambo is a Vietnam War veteran who subsequently suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

In the original installment, titled First Blood, John Rambo is a transient veteran who wanders from town to town. Some misunderstandings between Rambo and a harassing small town police department ultimately lead to a violent confrontation that involves the Army National Guard and his former commanding officer, Colonel Sam Trautman. We learn at this point that Rambo is a decorated Green Beret, and not someone to be messed with.

For those of us who grew up watching the Rambo franchise, the draw and appeal of these movies was the raw machoism, the violence for the sake of violence, the manifestation of our collective youth, playing “army” in the backyard with sticks as stand-ins for rifles and piles of leaves and tree limbs as make-shift bunker fortifications. Make no mistake, there were political messages behind the early Rambo movies. Messages that are still relevant today in this drawn-out era of the “War on Terror.” But, generally speaking, people in the 80s didn’t go to see movies because of politics.

The current iteration of Rambo is no less violent than any of the earlier installments. In fact, it is considerably more so. And despite his withering 73 years, Stallone pulls off a physically imposing, intimidating, grizzly old man who still struggles with his same inner demons. I will not get into the plot of this movie and I will not play the role of “Spoiler.” But, if you are interested in a couple of hours of being entertained by gratuitous gore, this movie won’t disappoint.

As far as politics go, there are plenty of globohomo critics over at Rotten Tomatoes, and elsewhere on the internet, with their “Wow, Just Wow, I Can’t Even” reviews. Many a pearl was clutched over the opening weekend, to be certain. There are cliché themes about Mexican cartels and human trafficking in this movie. Perhaps the characters are a little canned and phony. Whatever. Personally, I didn’t go to see this movie in order to be enlightened or have my opinions changed about open borders immigration. Just as with First Blood, I watched this movie for its two hours of escapism. I watched it, more than anything, to relive a better time when I was younger and I didn’t have this other bullshit to worry about.

As far as living up to the baseline standards of other violent action movies in that genre, I’ll go ahead and admit that I can only muster a “3 Star” review (on a 5 star scale) for Last Blood. To be frank, you could have just as easily cast Liam Neeson instead of Stallone in this movie and called it something else. The acting was mediocre and sometimes pretty bad. The lines were sometimes forced and Stallone just feels and looks tired. I’ll give him credit where it is due, the man is still in great shape. He is impressive for his age. But if he were less physically fit, I’d have to drop my review down to 2 stars. The extra star is motivation for all of us over the age of 40 to stay in the gym.

My final word on Rambo: Last Blood – go see it, if for no other reason than because globohomo reviewers are telling you otherwise. Enjoy it for what it is. Give Stallone his last hoorah. Then, go do some squats at the gym or sign up for a membership if you don’t already have one.

-By Dixie Anon