Your Punishment Must Be More Severe

So, San Francisco has declared the NRA “a domestic terror organization.” The state of New York is waging lawfare against them, among other issues. Beto is coming to take your guns. After dealing with years of persecution for expressing common sense, I welcome the persecution of normal conservatives and their organizations.

That’s not because misery loves company, I just want us all to be happy. It’s because the more of us who get turned into targets for expressing perfectly reasonable sentiments about existential issues, the greater the chance becomes that platforms and fundraising mechanisms will emerge to really get the ball rolling. “The more the merrier,” I suppose. There’s no point in decrying the inevitable.

Also, if every single white guy with “problematic views” got expelled from his place of employment this afternoon, the country would descend into the Stone Age by dawn. As you’ve probably already noticed, reality runs in absolute contradiction to White Privilege Theory. We’ve got productivity, but zero power.

Thus, the question becomes how do we make the rest of us notice what’s been plainly obvious to dissidents for years? Election shams don’t seem to have been doing the trick. Everybody still goes to comic book movies. The 1^st Amendment has been effectively negated through public/private collusion and everybody knows it. The NFL also sucks now.

Pondering what, short of an asteroid impact, it would take to disabuse the masses of their delusions of freedom and a positive future for their children drove me to tears. Then after a sniffle, the final solution dawned upon me. Here it is, start rubbing your hands. Take away their guns AND THEIR CRAFT BEER. Oh, the humanity!

After guns are taken away, they wouldn’t just get their beers banned. It would be implemented in the style that China has cracked down on its eastern Muslims. The breweries would be demolished with bulldozers and all they’d be able to do is watch and weep. Completely emasculated.

Craft beer and muh guns have a perverse synergy. If you don’t get that already, think of the average White American male as a work horse. This horse has blinders on it to keep it from panicking. For the right eye, there’s muh guns. On the left eye, there’s craft beer. This is why he labors under the absurd pretense he’s a free man living in a free country.

Think about it, you know these people and you’ve probably even been to craft breweries with them. MAGA, Reagan, “Let’s Roll” because Assad is gassing children and I never figured out from my Iraq deployments that I was used as cannon fodder. Nazis staged a terrorist attack in Charlottesville, so I’m gonna share memes about shooting them. We know that Russia hacked the election, trust me I have a degree from the War College, but I can’t offer an explanation of how it was done. If we didn’t win WW2, we’d all be speaking German right now. It was a country the size of Texas without much of a navy, but somehow the Wehrmacht would’ve rolled right over the White House. Shit just got real on Walking Dead.

I don’t hate these people; I want to help them. In order to do that, they need be put through a painful experience and stripped of their pride. If everyone had to drink malt liquor from Food Lion (it’s not that bad, you’ll get used to it), our long nightmare would swiftly come to an end.  Sipping that craft brew makes you feel like you’re someone special and sophisticated. Guess what, you ain’t.

Think about that at your next normie barbeque. I do it all the time, and it’s hard to hold my tongue