Cautionary Tales

There are many things wrong with America, obviously. One that’s not often discussed is that there are white men out there who should’ve just been left alone. Ted “The Unabomber” Kaczynski immediately comes to mind. He was a shy teenage math genius who was identified as a vulnerable target for drugging and subjection to psychological torture experiments. Look how that turned out. The only reason an entire FBI task force caught him was his brother.

White men are a highly capable demographic, with a a suite of capabilities that spell real trouble if you push the wrong one too far. A quick list would be a capacity for violence, technical skills for preparation, a strategic time horizon that allows for meticulous planning, and a grim determination about his course of action.

You see, this is the difference between a true horror show and a mass shooting at a back-to-school rap concert that leaves one dead and thirteen wounded. I ain’t sayin’ either one is good. My point is that as a society, we ought to be careful about who we provoke. Only the Lord knows what could happen if the wrong one gets activated.

For example, Marvin Heemeyer was by all accounts an affable small business owner who “would bend over backwards for anyone.” This was until officials in his small Colorado town decided to ruin him for no good reason. His solution? Level the fuckin’ town. In an episode known as “The Killdozer” he applied his skills and capital to the grim task of seeking revenge. His contraption would’ve put fear on a Ukrainian battlefield.

Like I said, I ain’t sayin’ none of this is good but it’s a phenomenon of which everyone should be aware. For example, a guy who lived near me was going through a messy divorce. The wife was getting a very expensive piece of his recreational equipment in the settlement. Score one for her lawyers, right? Well, maybe.

He [never convicted in court] packed it to the brim with propane and blew it to hell at 3:00 AM. This thing was in the pitch black open where no camera was going to document him doing anything. I’d drive past it every day without realizing he’d covertly turned it into a giant bomb. We were asleep until the explosion but apparently the flames shot a hundred feet into the air.

Looking at the charred remains on my lawn the next morning, which was a quite a distance away from the blast site (very considerate of him), I joked that we should box them up and mail them to her. At the time, I thought to myself that this was a rather extreme gesture of a man who’d become unhinged.

This thing cost at least a hundred grand, so I figured why not just write it off as a loss instead of spending even more on propane to blow it up? I was so naive at the time. A man’s emotions can’t be tabulated on a balance sheet. I used to be puzzled about why the Confederates chose to burn down Richmond as well. For your convenience, I’ve made the flow chart below:

While harrowing, the subject of my article does however make for good movies. It’s the premise of the Rambo series, of course. The plot of John Wick was basically that he was leading a quiet retired life until his car was stolen, and his puppy murdered. I got the idea for writing this one because I just watched Nobody which features this theme. It was actually one of the few decent new movies that I’ve seen in a while.

The notion that certain fellows are better left unmolested actually comes naturally to red blooded white men. The people who don’t understand are shitlibs and members of a certain tribe who end up getting shocked at the results of what this man has done in response to their molestation somehow. Whatever your opinion about mustache man, you’d have to concede he was heavily provoked. All he’d wanted to do was paint.

I suspect the problem is their lack of self-awareness and an inability to put themselves in anyone else’s headspace. For example, I’m a reasonable gentleman but shitlibs will be shocked at things I say in candid moments. I recently had a conversation with some when one pointed out I’d never been vaccinated.

“Did you ever get COVID?” an incredulous woman asked? “Nope“, I replied. I explained to her that I believe in God, so I don’t concern myself with this sort of shit. Her husband joked that I don’t use soap, either. I said, “Yeah, not for fifteen years. It’s unnecessary and it depletes your testosterone level.” My intimate acquaintance laughed because she thought I was joking as well, since I don’t smell bad at all.

This woman said there was no science to substantiate my claims, and that I “can’t just say stuff.” “Well, I’m sayin‘ it right now. You’re not makin‘ any sense,” was my rejoinder. I explained to her that I can and will claim whatever I want. She rhetorically inquired if I was a doctor and I responded that I don’t go to doctors because they make me nervous. She then asked me why I don’t “believe” in vaccines. As I sipped my beer, I told her it was because I’m allergic to gluten.

She was far from the first shitlib I’ve trolled this way. It’s really satisfying because they look wide-eyed at me like I’m a lunatic and wonder how I could operate a business like mine at all. I keep verbal parrying them without acknowledging there’s a shred of truth to what they’re saying. I’m not trying to induce an aneurysm or any other medical emergency, but from the expression on their faces it looks like one is incoming.

You’ve got to get your satisfaction for somewhere, folks, because it ain’t gonna be America. Shitlibs simply can’t grasp that if I was in charge of this place, there’d never be a Unabomber, a Killdozer, or a Waco Siege for that matter. White men are indeed dangerous. These fellows would’ve been left alone.