The Boat Shoe Beat: We Gotta Get You a Woman

We gotta get you a woman,
It’s like nothin’ else to make you feel sure you’re alive
We gotta get you a woman,
We better get walkin’, we’re wastin’ time talkin’ now

Todd Rundgren, “We Gotta Get You a Woman”

Recently, a guest contributor to this humble blog wrote an article titled, “The Young Fire-Eaters and the Marriage Issue.” The writer is apparently a member of Generation Z and he brought up some valid and concerning issues with dating and marriage in modern America. As an older Millennial, and a happily married man with young children, I figured I would give it “the old college try” and provide some detailed advice to the younger guys in the Dissident Right. I also think it’s important for older readers of this blog, Gen Xers and Boomers (and older), to understand that the writer of that linked piece is not a normie, liberal, or idle Weimerican, as far as I understand. Instead, he is a young Southern Nationalist, and it is our duty to mentor younger folks in our movement to the best of our ability and encourage them to have fulfilling and meaningful lives.

One of the important critiques that the author, Dixie Anon, provided in his article is that older dissidents really only provide two simplistic instructions regarding the dating market: (1) “improve yourself” and (2) continue to press forward after rejection. Those are a little oversimplified, but they are true and correct. They just need to be expanded and additional advice given. Yes, you absolutely must “improve yourself” if you are to increase your sexual market value (“SMV”) and attract a woman. However, that doesn’t mean you just lift, drink raw milk, “get swol,” and post physique. Transforming from a potbellied schlub to the Übermensch is impressive, but that’s not all you need to do. You also need a wardrobe and confidence – note: that’s also improving yourself.

I once wrote a pretty detailed article on Southern male attire (of the boat shoe variety), but it’s been lost to the internet vortex when the blog got deplatformed by vicious hatemongers. Since this won’t be an entire article dedicated to fashion advice, I’ll leave it fairly simple and straightforward: don’t dress like a bum, ever. You never know when you might run into “the one.” So, don’t go out in public in basketball shorts, crocs, and a sleeveless Realtree camo t-shirt. Of course, this doesn’t apply if you’re working construction or labor, so don’t attack me in the comments. Regardless, dress like you have respect for yourself and, if you’re on a date, dress like you respect that young lady on your arm. In short and at a minimum: wear a collared shirt, a belt that matches your shoes or boots, and khakis (or nice jeans). If you’re at the beach or something, you can pull out the boat shoes with your chino shorts.

Now, some of the young bachelors might have winced at the phrase above about the “young lady on your arm,” but that actually requires confidence. While it is a quaint, old-fashioned, dating ritual, it requires confidence for a young guy to stick his arm out there and let her grab on. And, if you see a couple walking together like that, I can practically guarantee you that they’re in love (or at least in the lust stage). Women love confidence because it means you are interested in them – you have the guts to go up to them and talk to them. Women also love bravery, and it takes an amount of courage to walk over and fire up a conversation with a stranger, especially a pretty one that’s caught your eye. I have seen countless guys (myself included) hunched over in their booth and nurse cold beers all night long and make excuse after excuse to not talk to the cute redhead at the bar. Many don’t want to admit it, but you miss every shot you don’t take. Women inherently sense that lack of confidence and it disgusts them.

As for rejection, it’s a part of life. Expect it. You will get rejected frequently in life – from the brunette in the cowboy boots to the job you applied for on Indeed.com. However, the old adage that there are “plenty of fish in the sea” is also true. And, don’t ever give up and embrace inceldom – that’s for failures and genetic dead ends. Learn from your rejections, too. Were you too drunk when you approached that girl at the bar and made a fool of yourself? It happens, don’t do that again. Did you stutter all over yourself when chatting up the girl from class? Calm down and take a deep breath before approaching the next one. Everything in life is really trial-and-error – learn from your mistakes and failures (your rejections). Finally, if someone says that they get rejected all the time, it’s at that point that introspection is likely necessary. In other words, it’s you, not them.

For starters, and this might sting a bit, are your standards a little too high? For example, I had a late buddy of mine that had ridiculously high standards for women. He would only consider approaching a woman if she looked like Christie Brinkley circa 1980 and, even then, he never would because he didn’t have the confidence to do so. Also, are you looking for the “perfect” woman? If so, there’s no such thing. There are no perfect people, ever. If you’re looking for the cute, ideologically pure, “trad” girl walking in from the wheat fields (cotton fields, in our case), don’t bother. For the most part, they don’t exist. If they do, they’re probably not in your area and long-distance dating usually doesn’t work out. Generally speaking, young, unmarried women are non-political or superficially political. However, if they are single and on the Far Left or Far Right, don’t engage – they’re likely batshit crazy.

Here’s another element of that required introspection – what’s your brand, what are you selling to these women? First, do not come out of the gate talking politics. Normal people hate politics, only under super rare circumstances can you bring up politics and flirt at the same time (requires an extra level of confidence). If you’re in the Dissident Right, you’re steeped in meme and internet culture. If that’s part of your sales pitch for dating and courtship, please stop immediately. You’ll sound like a weirdo or get the dreaded “creep” descriptor. If you want to chat with a Southern girl’s father about Robert E. Lee, that’s great – in fact, go for it. It will mean that you honor tradition and go against the grain. But, don’t be surprised if he puts the kibosh on your budding relationship if you mention David Duke during the first meet-and-greet with her parents.

Social media now plays a huge role in dating, unfortunately. When I was single, online dating was still considered somewhat taboo. People met and interacted mostly in real life, jumping into online dating didn’t really get mainstream until about a decade ago (don’t quote me on that). Regardless, it is the hand you’ve been dealt and, for the single guys, you’re just going to have to deal with the realities and challenges of modern dating and the internet. That being said, the internet, social media, TikTok, hookup apps (Tinder), etc. bring out the outright worst in human vanity. You have to ignore all of that because it is depressing when you’re single. If something is free and full of self-absorbed narcissists, pass on it. Ultimately, you get what you pay for – so, I recommend, if you’re in such a position and not around a lot of single women, to sign-up for a paid subscription to eHarmony, Christian Mingle, or some other service that is serious about dating. That should help weed out women that aren’t a good fit for you.

Speaking again about brand – there are still good women out there that want a genuine Southern gentleman. If you’re a single Southern Nationalist reading this, absolutely play to your strengths, and embrace that archaic archetype. Despite what modernity peddles, women, virtually all women (even the TERFs hate-reading this), love the Southern gentlemen. They want a strong, Southern man that will treat them like a lady, open doors for them, never “go Dutch” (for soy boys and Yankees), leads rather than follows, and embraces his masculine culture. Women really do like the Southern gentleman; embrace that brand and you will be successful (and also truthful to your identity).

Pound the pavement, slide into some DMs, approach that pretty girl, and don’t give up.