Let’s Get HR on the Phone!

When the first President Bush told us he was going to defeat the Iraqi army and that’s what ensued. That’s not to say it should’ve been done, but he said he would do it and then he did. Hell, even Hillary Clinton told us that young black men were committing massive amounts of crime so we should put more of them in jail for longer to reduce their mayhem. That was actually happening and increasing the incarceration made it happen less, just like she said. Many such cases.

My point is that our country wasn’t on a better track. It was all heading to where we’re at right now. But, in terms of expectation management it was much easier to convince the average person that things were being run on the level. At this juncture, we have leaders who are told to create existential problems and then insist that insane actions be taken in response. A positive result is promised to occur, which doesn’t and often in a spectacular fashion.

To the extent it’s even possible to keep selling the public on these things, it seems like credibility and charisma would help. It’s in rather short supply. Exhibit A, Jake Sullivan:

Whenever I see a photo of him with his mouth closed, I get the sense I’m looking at a corpse that’s been embalmed and the eyeballs replaced with glass. There’s something really odd about this guy’s physiognomy, like he’s been reanimated or something. I’m certain he’s freaked out small children. The chances of him charming me into believing Putin stole the 2016 election are zero, although I support him being cast to replace Angus Scrim in a remake of Phantasm.

Pentagon shill John Kirby is another piece of work. While his Russian counterpart just stares at the camera and calmly lists who and what they blew up yesterday, this hack engages in the most strained histrionics and unreality imaginable. I saw a clip where he ran out of platitudes, so he started to tear up because people were being killed. For a man of his stature who’s been shilling mass murder at least since Serbia, you’d think he could put on a better act. Still, he’s got one good idea:

Why not replace them all with blacks? First of all, blacks can’t be held accountable. Better yet, their mental acuity is beyond reproach. If that social protocol fails and their grasp of the facts is called into question, they’ve got an ace card that works every time. From a theoretical briefing:

Reporter Lady: Mr. Spokesman, three months ago you said that Russia would run out of ammunition in three days. Any comment, sir?

Black Spokesman: Why don’t you just call me a n****?

Reporter Lady: I…..I’m not sure what you’re insinuating.

Black Spokesman: Why don’t you just call me a n****?

Reporter Lady: Um, uh…. do you have any comment on Biden’s approval of the plan for an amphibious landing in Crimea? The Russians have warned this will be met with a nuclear strike on Brussels. Is the Pentagon confident of its risk appraisal?

Black Spokesman: If we gotta roll, we fittin’ ta roll.

This works, and often it brings white people down to talking like they’re mentally deficient. You’ve never seen how a college debate gets won?

Like I said, Kirby’s point about just hiring a bunch of blacks on the spot has more merit than one might initially expect. They’re going to have to try something new because this country is coming off the rails and simply repeating that things are going fine isn’t going to cut it. They need a whole new script.

2 comments

  1. Me if I were in that hypothetical conversation: “…uhhh *points at Black person* you’re a n****r?”

    *histrionics ensues*

    me: “please be patient with me, I have autism!”

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