The Boat Shoe Beat: I Love Democracy

Democracy does not contain any force which will check the constant tendency to put more and more on the public payroll. The state is like a hive of bees in which the drones display, multiply and starve the workers so the idlers will consume the food and the workers will perish.

Plato

A really, really great idea, and one the Founders never envisioned, was a political process whereby everyone decided the future of the nation through expanded suffrage and mass democracy. When I mean everyone, I mean everyone – the intelligent, the stupid, illegal immigrants and foreign aliens, teenagers, misanthropes, small business owners, drug addicts, the perpetually unemployed, high school teachers, the homeless, reality television stars, OnlyFans subscribers, etc. Regardless of one’s station, our most holy and sacred democracy allows everyone, even the clinically retarded, to vote for their managerial betters and sometimes on plebiscites that they can’t possibly comprehend.

One thing I’ve always found fascinating is that this beautiful creation we have now, and one where we’re clearly in a prosperous, stable, and successful nation, really hasn’t been tried before. I suppose that makes us innovators, proof positive of American Exceptionalism. At least, not that I can really recall in the modern West. Perhaps Weimar Germany, Revolutionary France, the British Interregnum, and the Bolshevik Revolution are the closest we have as analogues, with their commonality being a hatred for established hierarchy and commonsense order, as well as, their disastrous march toward utopian progress.

What makes our democracy work so well and efficient, is that here, in this blessed land called America, every person is equal. I adore democracy just as much as the concept of equality. Every citizen, naturalized, legal, or undocumented, even those that are functionally illiterate and believe in QAnon, is considered equal. In fact, some are more equal than others, but that’s a rather complicated subject and due to disparate impact and historical oppression.

The extremely remarkable thing about our democracy is that because it is paired with a benevolent, state-approved media, one that has the best interest at heart for certain segments of the citizenry, our subjects don’t need to waste their time becoming informed on policy positions, implemented regulations, the historical record, or downstream consequences. A soundbite, social media post, or emotional appeal is pretty darn efficient, plus our democratic mob can be more deftly and quickly manipulated. A good example was President Biden, then running for a second term with Obama, proclaiming to an excitable colored crowd in Danville, Virginia that Bain Capital’s own Mitt Romney would, “put y’all back in chains.” Needless to say, the crowd was really fired up for Joe!

The thing is, the Founders were a truly short-sighted group of evil White men. Sure, they could navigate by the stars, read and write Latin, develop horticultural practices that we couldn’t begin to fathom, and had a deep understanding of British, Roman, and Greek political philosophies, but they were racist by modern standards. As such, anything they had to say or recommend is negated. In fact, most democracy-loving Americans probably can’t name more than three of them (we can thank Hamilton for pumping those numbers up). They envisioned a “republic” with a limited franchise, an educated and ethical citizenry, yeoman lifestyle, and a government unrestrained by foreign entanglements. Of course, all of those problematic and antiquated notions are bad because of their powdered wigs and enslavement of black bodies.

Also, per our state-sponsored public schools, democracies are the most peaceful, thriving, and successful forms of government. If you live in a venerated democracy, like me, you’ll appreciate that democracies are harmonious in nature. Most people do not want war and death, unless in self-defense; thus, democracies are, more or less, political doves, amicable, and will not vote to go to war (much unlike the aggressively hawkish, imperialistic, warlike, multi-party republic of Syria). And remember, the last time our democracy declared war was back in 1942, nothing afterwards really counts – those are “conflicts” or “police actions.” So, for the detractors out there, erase Korea, Vietnam, Grenada, Panama, Desert Storm, Somalia, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Yemen drone strikes, Iraq Part 2: Dubya Boogaloo, Libya, Syria, etc. from your whiteboard, as those do not count as wars/military aggression since there was no vote for war from our peaceful democratic electorate.

Democracies, because it is baked into the proverbial cake, have a much more flourishing and vigorous citizenry, too. As history teaches us, especially during the 20th century, autocracies, draconian republics, monstrous monarchies, and other unseemly reactionary governments usually produced brainwashed, physically ill, and purposefully uneducated populations. We only need to look at pictures from 1930s Italy or watch the American Heroes Channel to understand why 20th century non-democratic nations were so utterly terrible. Do you want healthy and happy families waving their national flag, high church attendance, and prohibiting soul-sucking degeneracy (essentially, restricting freedom)? No thanks – I’ll keep my mass democracy and freedom fries.

By contrast, the American democratic population is doing wonderful. Per Forbes, and according to the U.S. Department of Education, 54% of U.S. adults, or about 130 million people, lack proficiency in literacy, and read below the equivalent of a sixth-grader. Despite being functionally illiterate, their voices need to be heard in our democratic process. Health-wise, we’re doing fine, too. In 1990, obese adults made up less than 15% of the population in most of our democracy. By 2010, 36 states had obesity rates of 25% or higher, and 12 of those states had obesity rates of 30% or higher. Today, nationwide, roughly two out of three U.S. adults are overweight or obese (69%). Not too shabby, if you ask me. One only need visit their local Walmart supercenter to view their shambling fellow Americans and be thankful that they’re included in our legislative process.

The Washington Post, an excellent, unbiased newspaper of record, has a cautionary slogan that states, “Democracy Dies in Darkness.” I think about this a lot. In fact, it keeps me up at night – pondering about how the forces of evil (likely other nefarious Identity Dixie writers) would like to abolish our sacred democracy and replace it with something unequitable, exclusionary, and functional. To them I say: you’ll have to get through me first, I love democracy.