Your Card Has Been Activated

One of the things I admire about African Americans is the quiet dignity in which they conduct their affairs. Nowhere does this quality find a fuller expression than in cinematography of their signature melodic art-rapping about one’s male genitalia.  

Much like an Anglo connoisseur of Italian operas, I can’t translate everything as it often requires significant expertise to distinguish between a colloquial expression and a non-lexical vocable. Nonetheless, there are core elements to a rousing piece.

These include:

-Firearms of legally dubious provenance

-Marijuana cigarettes

-Styrofoam cups of “purple drank”

-Wads of cash

Bills of large denomination are particularly important from a theatrical perspective as this signifies one’s competence in the distribution of illegal narcotics. The protagonist’s status as a notorious drug trafficker is as essential to the performance as a flaw would be to the hero of a Greek tragedy.

Lamentably, state and corporate power are consolidating into a seamless tyranny hitherto unimaginable. Our transnational oligarchy is now in the process of underpinning technological surveillance with the replacement of paper money by digital currencies, thereby rendering transactional freedom a thing of the past.

These developments carry grave implications for an art form so morally edifying. Still, there are innovators such as “Nuke Bizzle” and his side-kick “Fat Wizza.” The two recently released a video titled “EDD”, which I initially assumed to involve the erectile dysfunction of Mr. Nuke’s antagonists.

EDD is actually the acronym for California’s Employment Development Department, which administers unemployment relief funds from the CARES Act. According to a federal indictment, Mr. Nuke managed to defraud the agency of 1.2 million dollars by filing false claims.

It’s unclear if the video led directly to an investigation by the feds but it’s certainly not going to be an asset for his defense attorney. It shows him with multiple envelopes from the EDD as he solemnly intones “you gotta sell cocaine, I just file a claim.”

It underscores just how easy it is to defraud the government these days, particularly when you don’t make a video extolling the details of your crimes. If only Mr. Nuke had learned about Medicare, he’d have been the wealthiest rapper of all time.

2 comments

    1. Mr. Morris, I’m shocked you don’t know enough about the rap game that you’d have to ask.

Comments are closed.