Jack Ryan, Not So Super Spook

So, after the liberal screeching about Jack Ryan and how it was racist and sexist and this, that and the other, I figured “okay, I’m in for some decent TV.” If liberals are offended by it, it’s gotta be decent, right? Hoo lawd did they bait me hard on this. In no particular order, here are my beefs with Amazon’s take on Jack Ryan (SPOILER ALERT).

1. For whatever reason (heh), Wendell Pierce‘s James Greer was made a Muslim. This is the character originally played by James Earl Jones in the Harrison Ford era of Jack Ryan. Apparently, genius black CIA officer isn’t progressive enough anymore. Gotta check an extra box or two. One of the handful of /ourscenes/ involves a French cop bemoaning the fact that Muzzies can’t and won’t integrate into French society, thinking that the American Greer will be sympathetic. I sure was. But, Greer pulls out whatever Muslims call their prayer beads. Frenchie asks, “What is that, a rosary?” Greer responds, “It’s an X (I don’t know or care to know what they’re called). I use it to ask Allah to give me peace when I am confronted by ASSHOLES!” OMG TRUTH TO POWER YOU GUYSES! HE SURE SHOWED THAT NATZEE! The jab at French nationalism was an early indication of which way this show was going.

2. Jack Ryan is a total liberal faggot. He is constantly getting into it with his bosses about the hard nosed, morally grey way that the CIA gets things done when it comes to acquiring information about terrorists. And, what it does with that information. In one such scene, he allows a fleeing suspect to get away out of fear that he’d clip a bystander (despite the fact that he’s a well trained war hero). That suspect later gasses a Church after killing a French lady cop (not the based cop that Greer E V I S C E R A T E S). Does Ryan learn from this? That some people only understand violence and power? Nope. As of episode 7 (of 8), he was whining to stop the president from bombing the compound where the main bad guy was located. Why? Because the bad guy has a kid. The president agrees to send a ground force in, rather than an airstrike. The night of the raid, the aforementioned kid uses video games to contact his sister, whom his mother (more on her later) fled to the US with. Terrorist daddy sees the transmission and figures something is up and flees before the cavalry arrives. Yeah, the insertion team rescues some shoehorned plot device centered around Doctors Without Borders — ultimately, the deus ex machina that convinces the president not to airstrike, as the leader of the captives was in ‘Nam with him. Unsurprisingly, the main target gets away. Womp womp.

John Krasinski totally doesn’t stand out here. This is deep cover.

3. There are numerous scenes trying to tug at the audience’s heart strings about the poor plight of “muh refugees.” First off, contrary to reality, the actors and actresses playing the refugees are mostly women and children – not military aged men with a penchant for vicious rape and violence. A simple analysis of any photograph of refugees shows that they are overwhelmingly military age men and because that is what polygamous societies have a massive surplus of. The conditions on the way to and in the camps are bad, but the refugees go through danger anyway because home is so much worse. As is typical of Hollywood, much focus is placed on scat and piss. The obvious implication of these histrionics is to lay a guilt trip on wayward Monald Mumpf supporters who don’t care about the poor refugees (TM).

Sorry, I still don’t care. Yeah, the refugee centers are a mess. But, so are the Muslim neighborhoods in the West. Filthy is as filthy does.

4. Adjacent to the refugee camps is the morally ambiguous Greer being able to locate the refugee wife of the main terrorist by contacting a sex-trafficking CIA asset in Turkey. Libtard Ryan has a big problem with using this man, despite the success of the mission. The one slightly redeeming part of this interaction was that the smarmy sex slaver, upon realizing that Ryan hates him, says that maybe he’d have been the good guy rather than the bad guy if he had been born in the US, rather than in Turkey. Ryan stares daggers at him as if to say, “NOPE.” Which is true. These people are what they are regardless of where they enter the world. But, I’m sure that’s not the intended message. This too is designed to make us feel bad for the poor refugees (TM). There is, of course, no doubt that Muslims are engaged in widespread sex trafficking. But, few of the victims are refugees, as almost all of the refugees are men.

5. The discovery of the terrorist compound rests on getting the leader’s wife to turn on him. This requires multiple implausible events to occur in order to reach fruition. Firstly, she becomes outraged when she learns that it is her husband who is behind the gas attack in France. This causes her to flee Syria and head for the refugee camps on the Turkish border. Absurd enough that a Muslim woman would betray her husband like that, but it gets better. Creepy pedophile operative of the terrorist cell manages to track her and the kids down and she escapes (in a scene that involves her braining pedo with a rock and he falls into a literal shit river). On foot. In the desert. With two children under the age of 15. Girl power YAWL. Oh wait. That was the second time he tracked her down. The first involved a fruity drone operative disobeying orders to shoot a rocket at the pedo, which he somehow survives. Then, pedo-man gets to her a third time, when finally Greer puts him out of our misery on the coast of Turkey. Afterwards, the poor female refugees get taken to the US – probably to be deposited in some red state.

6. That drone operative. Good god, what a homosexual. He’s extremely good at what he does, but apparently blowing up shitbird terrorists from the eye in the sky bothers his bottom. He wanted to be a pilot and wound up killing muzzies from half a world away via video game. Apparently, blowing them up from 10,000+ feet is more noble because there’s a chance that a pilot can get shot down. Or something. He and his (of course) STRONK BLACK FEMALE drone operator trade one dollar bills every time they ice a target. He loses his shit and takes the hundred plus of them and drunkenly goes to a casino where he proceeds to turn it into 29 grand. Sounds bizarre for a CIA thriller, right? Yeah, it’s about to get a lot weirder in Weimerica television.

And, then there’s a scene where he cucks this dude while the guy watches our drone operator fuck his woman (throughout the show, I assumed he was a homosexual). After his two pumps inside the hottie, the spectator then beats the piss out of him (oh, Hebrews and their silly fantasies). He then decides to go to Syria to meet up with the family of the last target he killed. And, gives the 29 grand to the terrorist’s son in exchange for a few dozen eggs. A redemption arc that puts Lindsey Graham to shame!

This show should sound pretty retarded at this point. That is, to anyone not a mindless boomer screeching rah ‘Merica!

7. Finally, there is the terrorist leader himself, Suleiman. In the show’s opening scene, he’s a teenager in Lebanon dancing to American music. JUST. LIKE. US. His home gets bombed during the US/Israeli operations there, killing his entire family except his brother, with whom he flees to France. There, he gets a degree in economics and is such a genius that he becomes aware of the windfall possibilities of online banking in 2001. He gets rejected from a job at a prestigious French bank because he’s brown (like that happens IRL). Even then, he continues to try to integrate, working at a falafel stand, until he takes the fall for his drug addled brother. While in prison, he discovers radical Islam and the rest is history. The white man creates terrorists. Whether by bombing, or invading, or rejecting the hard working immigrants because of racism, it is the European and the American who make Muslims into terrorists. They aren’t naturally like that! That dumb, fascist cop was totally wrong! /groan.

I haven’t finished the last episode just yet, but I’m sure there will be some lesson on tolerance and understanding that Jack Ryan attempts to teach me, while he ultimately blows up the main terrorist for Season 1. The moral of this rant that turned into an article is that I fear Hollywood might be on to us. Get liberals to complain about how un-PC something is, and right wingers will watch. To be sure, I don’t doubt the NPC opinion setter outrage was real in the various reviews of Jack Ryan, which I read and which gave me such hope. I did love those movies growing up.

But, those people are going to be outraged no matter how many liberal messages are buried within the plot, so long as the bad guys aren’t FUCKING WHITE MALES. The NPC wants fantasy where Nazis, or Southerners, or better yet Southern Nazis are the bad guys (coming in Season 2, Jack Ryan takes on the League of the South). Even something adjacent to reality where Muslim terrorists are the bad guy is too fascistic for them. Which is indicative of just how far gone the NPC is. I’m not one of those people who harps repeatedly that mass media should be avoided entirely. I don’t need to. We all reached our worldview already, and nothing Hollywood throws at us will change our minds. But, continue to be vigilant in what you consume — liberal outrage is no longer indicator enough that something is solid.

I’m glad that Tom Clancy didn’t live to see this travesty.


  1. My wife and I were talking about the lack of manliness in leading men; how manliness has Passover the last twenty or so years. We were specifically talking about the new Magnum PI actor but John Krasinski seems to be a good example, too.