The Real March Madness

Hey, normie. You’re probably bummed your college is out of the tournament or that handegg season is over. So, take a second and consider your own future rather than your misplaced tribalism. You have children? What example are you providing by yelling at the TV, while a game you have no control over plays? The passion you display for all to see is projected on a team that doesn’t know and most likely couldn’t care less about your existence. All that time invested is gone while your kids are in the other room doing or watching Lord knows what.

Oh, you need time to unwind? I bet life is really beating you down as you recline in your climate controlled “man cave” (let’s face it, that’s just a cute name for a man-child’s play room), drinking whatever light swill slowly transforms your body into a walking keg. You’ve effectively surrendered your home to something that is far less important than fostering and maintaining bonds with your kin or raising a family. In addition, your home is your castle. You are the patriarch and master of your family. By having a “man cave,” you’ve been marginalized to the basement (or tool shed) of your own home, likely after some weak bartering with your wife. You are no longer in control – so, you retreat to your room of arrested development to watch black strangers chase a piece of leather. How pathetic is that? How pathetic are you?

It’s a family affair you say? Load up the SUV and truck everyone to the school and cheer on those athletic scholars. If you think any of those athletes care that you traveled four hours, took a day off from work and spent several hundred dollars (of disposable income you can’t really afford to spend) to come to the game, I’ve got some ocean front property in Arizona to sell you. Your kids will really wonder why dad is cheering on strangers and you shuttle them from campus to campus, spending wild amounts of money and wrecking your emotions with the ups and downs of the season.

Did you make your bracket this year? You probably did. You probably made several versions. How much time did you waste doing that, instead of working and raising a family? Bracket busting has probably been the highlight of your meaningless dull time spent at the office. Great for water cooler talk, right? I’m sure Mikal Bridges, Jevon Carter, Deandre Ayton and Devonte’ Graham think it’s cool the amount of time you’ve spent worshiping them this season. I wonder if it’s reciprocated?

Our student-athletes really do wonderful things for our colleges. So what if they rape and pillage? How are we going to have a good recruitment class? These are the really important things to chat with the family over Easter supper.

College football is so great.

The NCAA has done really great things for our academic institutions, you know. Looks like a fine use of funds there. Send your daughter, get her involved in extracurricular activities. Some of these guys are so smart they can be tutors. Check out this history lesson. These are just the institutions that were caught. I don’t feel like I’m going out in a limb assuming this is par for the course.

I’m in no way playing down education. However, blind loyalty to athletics is an emotional, financial and spiritual dead end. Again, if you are a father what example are you providing cheering on criminals, frauds and freeloaders, while wearing another man’s name on your back?

I think you know the answer.

-By Robert Hoke

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