In this long, delightful, and productive holiday season, I have been pondering on more aspects of the Urbanite. In recent months, we have gained the amusing and incredibly, as we will soon find out, meme of the “Bugman,” small-souled creature and driven without dreams or ideals beyond what is pleasurable at the moment. In previous articles, other writers spoke of how the musical, RENT, exemplifies this buggery.
That they all live in just the moment, without any thought of the future, or any care for the future generations that follow (an attitude likely passed down to us from the Boomer). This mindset is, as expected from my thorough processes, a highly urbanite phenomenon. I posit, how does one live in the moment a la bugman, when you do not have the access to the debauched degeneracy of the urban dweller? The answer is that you cannot. The agrarian lifestyle requires patience, planning and hard work (creature comforts, a necessity for the bugman, are entirely lacking from an agrarian lifestyle). I shall go more into these bugmen and their hive that is the Metropoli!
The urbanite tends to lack an actual culture due to the extreme consumerism and the spread of the generic and bland urban Californian (((Hollywood))) media. Furthermore, paradoxically, their own love of diversity is truly a hindrance. In their search for culture and living in the moment, they cut themselves off from having a true connection to any culture or identity. Even their own identity, in places such as Boston (famed for their unique linguistics!) and the holy center itself, New York City, is becoming more and more irrelevant and generic.
To the urbanite, diversity is nothing but a nice Indian restaurant or some sort of “cultural” festival – the more food trucks, the better. Maybe, just maybe, an immigrant group will build some building, likely religious, that has a unique style of architecture for the region. All that matters to the urbanite is the veneer of diversity, of worldliness. They do not realize that the people they invite to replace them do not share the same value of a vapid sugary sweet false diversity, and that they maintain their true culture. Immigrant communities are, with few exceptions, incredibly tight and remember the old ways. In the past, they would assimilate into the greater American identity, and truly bring noteworthy ideas and customs to our cultural melting pot (to a degree). That assimilation has been eschewed, deemed racist, deemed insensitive, so that now we have alien enclaves of other nations on our soil.
All the while, the urbanite lives in that one single moment, and enjoys some “delicious” and exotic ethnic foodstuffs, while ignoring that their precious city falls around them. When speaking of Urbanite Culture, it might be best to think of it as Urbanite CULTure, a deeply held and self-sacrificial religious dogma, with a stricter adherence than even the most fundamental of Evangelical Christian theologies! Like many cults, the urbanite chugs their kool-aid with an amazing passion!
Beyond this, this love of the thin veneer runs deep into other subjects of their life. We all know of things that the bugmen enjoy, many of them we enjoy ourselves. But these interests never run incredibly deep, it is but a costume for them to blandly signal. Do they enjoy the books a popular TV series came from? Do they realize the historical allegories and appreciate them? Of course not! All that matters is vaguely understanding it to talk around the water cooler.
The urbanite is obsessed with the customary mark of the bugman – that infamous and mildly disturbing gaping mouth of surprise (called the Soylent Grin). They are so obsessed with this signalling that they feign being so delighted and excited by whatever activity or gift they are doing or have received, that they put on this bizarre facial expression that would only be captured in a split second if actually caught in nature.
Beneath this veneer, as thin as it is, is nothing but a passionless and empty soul, a tiny soul at that. The urbanite seeks and demands pleasure as the circumstances of the urbanite lifestyle has stripped them of the ability to find meaning. We see women who refuse to have children as nature intended, replace their maternal instincts with their fur babies. Instead of hobbies and interests such as video gaming and enjoying media complementing and bettering life, it BECOMES their life. On the flip side, we will see urbanites dedicate themselves solely to their idea of a career, forgoing any form of culture or interest for the almighty shekel. This metropolitan nihilism, sadly, is not self contained to the great cities. Their plunge into the abyss seeks to take us with them.
For this reason, amongst so many many more, we must Crush the Urbanite!
-By The Nefarious Dr. Kriegzahn