It’s a nice and quiet day in the office and in an attempt to break the monotony with some humor, a man stumbles on to the /pol/ section of 4Chan. While scrolling through with no good posts in sight, one thread screams out at me. That thread was a Southern Hate thread.
What I’m sure started out as some New Yorker attempting to comfort himself about the shortcomings of his culture, actually enticed an unreasonable amount of yanks to voice what they felt were legitimate concerns. Some of these concerns are as follows: Meth Addiction, White Trash, Tarnished image of White People, Terrible accents, poor diets, Neo-Confederates, poverty, etc.
You get the picture by now, I’m sure.
Whether this started as satire or not, I’m going to bitch about it regardless. So let’s address some of these complaints
Not before this, though. First and foremost, we tried to leave. We still will. Our convictions don’t change. Fuck Yankees.
Moving on to Meth Addiction. In 2017, New York City made headlines, not because of its sights or culture, but because of its heroin problem. Overdoses are reaching record levels (some 1,200 deaths in 2016 alone) and don’t exhibit any signs of slowing down. Heroin had become such an issue for NYC that overdoses were almost 4 times higher than their homicide rate. But hey, at least it ain’t meth right?
I guess what I’m alluding to is simply this: Fuck Yankees.
White trash made me laugh. I’ll take a bunch of stereotypical white trash, redneck, drunk, pyros over the consumeristic, self-hating and overly apologetic soyboy scum that plagues the large cities in the North. At least white trash only destroy their own yards and not their cities. Everything said here also applies to the “tarnished image of white people” thing. At least our “white trash” are reproducing with their own kind and therefore keeping the image of white people alive.
My point remains the same as the first: Fuck Yankees.
I almost lost it at “terrible accents”. Are you kidding me?
Sure, Bob, I’ll take “Why is a Boston accent the most mocked white accent in America?” for $100. Southern accents are warm and welcoming. There are more songs written about a “sweet southern drawl” than there are about yanks dropping the letter “r” from literally every word ever.
And, if you read all of that in some wildly over exaggerated hillbilly accent, I’ll spell it out for you plainly: Fuck Yankees.
Southern culture is a true gem. We have great music, we have delicious foods, we have engaging pastime activities, and we have the love of genuinely exceptional women. But most importantly, we have a strong brotherhood. That is why we scream “the South will rise again” at the top of our lungs. We don’t get tired of fighting and we don’t skirt our responsibilities because they are difficult.
If you take nothing else from this piece, I strongly encourage you to remember one thing: