Lose the Hog Ring, Ladies

Have you seen this ugly sight recently? You take an attractive woman – then, she slaps on the old hog ring because BuzzFeed says it makes her “look more attractive” and what do you get? A sow.

Some farmers install nose rings on their pigs to inhibit a behavior known as rooting. When pigs root, they use their noses to burrow into the ground, turning it over to expose material of interest. While rooting is an entirely natural behavior, it can be very destructive, and pig rings are used to reduce the overall damage which can be caused by pigs.

Unlike cattle rings, which are inserted through a piercing made by a veterinarian, pig nose rings are usually simply clipped on. The ring makes it hard to root, because it gets in the way of the nose and causes pain if the pig persists in rubbing its nose in the soil. Eventually, the clip on ring may slide off, requiring replacement, and some farmers clip multiple rings onto the pig’s nose to reduce the need to handle the pig for ring replacements.

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The Septum Piercing IRL

Are you reading that ladies? You’ve got hog ring in your nose. Your grandparents look at you with shame because you look like a farm animal.

Now, women don’t call it the “hog ring,” they call it something “cute,” but incredibly degenerate – Modernity calls it the “Septum Piercing.” Gross.

For normal women (and men) raised by upstanding families and don’t want to look like a farm animal, folks aren’t real sure what’s involved with this current fad. It ain’t pretty, I had to research it myself. No wonder the hog ring (or bovine ring) is for animals, particularly herd animals, you’d have to be a brainless and vapid thot to have one “installed.”

If you don’t want a detailed account, stop reading here – in short, herds of shallow women are getting bolts, rings and spikes penetrated through the fleshy part of their naval passage. If not done properly, it can lead to infections and other unsettling consequences. Think about it? All for some shiny piece of metal that social media said was cool to have. We live in Clown World®.

For those with stronger stomachs and possibly daughters, wives and girlfriends flirting with the idea of having a needle jammed between their nose, below is the basic procedure for looking like a human bovine.

A septum piercing is a piercing that goes through the nasal septum, which separates the left and right nostrils. The piercing needle goes through the thin piece of flesh towards the front of the nose, past the cartilage. This is called the columella, but is often referred to as the “sweet spot“. Some people do not have a columella, but the piercing can be done through the cartilage, however that can be extremely painful.

It also stinks too – like pigs. Your skin secretes natural oils and constantly sloughs off dead skin cells, and the skin on the inside of your self-mutilation (the hog ring) is no different. This discharge tends to collect around the piercing and on the metal hanging from your nose, and while this happens with every piercing, it just tends to be a lot more noticeable when it’s right under your nose. Enjoy the stink.

I hope any of our readers will be discouraged to mutilate themselves for the sake of social media acceptance. Don’t look like an animal that eats their young and rolls around in shit. If you want to look like trash, sure – go ahead and get one. You’ll be just like one of the herd. Pic related below.


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The Results of Trash


  1. Of all the piercings, the hog ring is the worst. It disgusts me almost as much (but not quite) as a white girl bent over, presenting her ass, and pretending she’s a baboon in heat. Leave the nigger mating dances to the niggers.